Vincent VanNough

I will be the first to admit....... I'm no artist. I do have SOME creativity in me though. But when you think you're the technician and tell me what to do and how to do it .....you stifle said little creativity I do have. 

How do you know you don't like it if I'm not done with it? 

The colors just weren't meshing? Are you serious? I wasn't done. Guess what the yellow I was going to put in it would have calmed down all the colors!!!

They just stood out too much. Took the attention off the main event.

Guess what........ That's what an ACCENT does. It stands out!!! It's not an accent nail when it looks like the rest of them! 

It's just too different.

Well you picked the colors. I just put them together. Seriously???? 

You've been in my chair for 4 hours go the flem flam home! 

Google that trick!!! 

Breathing Is Important

Dear Coworker, 

I get it. You don't like to call off, I don't either.  Which is why I almost never do. Even if I don't feel well I'm going to be right here. 

There's a difference between not feeling well and "about to die."  It sounds as if your ailment is of the latter. You've coughed non stop for the past ten minutes. I'm pretty sure that thump I just heard was one of your lungs quitting your body. 

Please go home. My baby just got over a chronic cough and if I get sick and pass it on, I'm going to kick you in the ear. 

The Audacity of Me

I'm sorry I took a lunch break. And am coming in from said lunch break as you are leaving on YOUR lunch break...where you say "I've been looking for you".

IDGAF.

I'm sorry that I would dare leave out for lunch during a time when you were still there and might need to ask me a question.

I always get some offended ass look when I leave out for lunch at 12:30...1:00, etc. I don't want to take lunch at 11 because you're taking lunch at 11 and you might need to ask me a question at 1:12. What if I need to ask you a question at 11:03 but you're gone to lunch? The world continues to spin doesn't it? Doesn't it?!?!?

I am a saver!!!

My boobs save stuff all the time!!! 

Chips, bread, chicken crumbs and sometimes even drinks! 

Lololololololololol! 

Because I'm special

Why do people think they are the exception to the rules?

You're exempt from consequences because You're light skinned? Because you have a vowel in your name? Because you breathe? 

Please explain so I can be on your page. Because where I'm from over sleeping is not a reason to not have to pay a cancellation fee. IMO 

Google It Bitch!

Google has all of the answers. All of them. If you try to Google and you come up with nothing, then it doesn't exist, or you're a dumbass. 

I completely understand why some questions are  necessary: 

- anyone have a great asparagus recipe? 

    Valid question 

- how do I cook asparagus? 

     Google it Bitch. 

- anyone have tips for having fun at Disney? 

   Valid question 

- what time does Epcot open? 

    Google It Bitch 

- has anyone been to Blue Fish for dinner? What did you think? 

    Valid question 

- What's the address for Blue Fish? 

      Google It Bitch. 

I want to tell people to Google It approximately 1,300 times a day. While karate chopping them in the throat. Yay for impulse control. 

Whatever I Want

I want to be able to do whatever I want. Some people do. They aren't productive in life, they just do whatever they want. 

Go to school? Nah

Get a job? No thanks 

Take a shower? No way 

Raise their kids? Pfffttt

Contribute to society? No thanks. 

But then something changes. People get tired of them mooching, they cut cut off. And suddenly Whatever They Want isn't do comfortable. 

"No one will help me" 

Nope. You couldn't be bothered to help yourself.  Now we're doing whatever we want.