Outraged!!!!

I'M OUTRAGED THAT WE HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT WE WERE OUTRAGED!!!! 

No so outraged

I think I'm over outrage when it comes to this industry. I'm just over it. I have come to the conclusion that I have way too many feeling to do what I do. 

Sitting across from people every two weeks for years. Talking,building relationships, learning them..... I become invested in these relationships. So when people just say screw me and go to someone else.....my feelings are hurt. And I'm tired of that. I'm tired of caring what people do. I just want to do my job, get paid, pay my bills, travel and shop and save(not necessarily in that order). 

Guess I'll take the time tomorrow to actively look for a "regular" job. 

I'm not patient

I hate not knowing, waiting for answers. Hate it.  Hate it hate it hate it. 

I woke up this morning on top of the world.  I felt great about life, about love about everything.  I felt one with the universe and all of that.  It was a great feeling.  Even though I often given "overly happy" people the side eye, it felt good.  Really good.  Are there really people that feel like that all the time?

Then it stopped.  And doubt started creeping in, and anxiety and fear and bam.  Bad place.  I don't want to be in a bad place anymore.  I'm tired of the bad place.

I have to be patient.  It'll work out, it always works out.

You know

Whatever happened to if you know better do better?

So you know if you call during business hours there's a good possibility I'm working. I don't answer the phone when I'm working so send a text. I refuse to be held accountable for you not getting. Response if you call and don't follow up with a text. 

Never. Call. 

STFU Asshole

Not wanting smoking around public places (like a stadium) isn't about being a 'treehugger'. It's about I don't want your fucking cigarette smoke infecting the lungs of my family and myself. I don't want your dumb ass to be sitting around in 20 years and I'm dying of fucking lung cancer or emphysema and *I* have never put a cigarette to my lips in my life.

Asshole.

Self employed

The longer I work for someone the more I realize I was meant to work for myself. 

I despise having to ask "if" I can do something. That pisses me off. I miss my freedom and flexibility. Especially because the person I work for has no problem saying screw me and my schedule as long as it benefits her. 

You can't be sick. You can't take care of any business. You can only eat lunch if I do or if you get me something. You can't take your mandatory hour lunch at the end of the day unless you go pick my daughter up. You can't do anything unless it benefits me. 

I miss my own space and time. 

Silence isn't always golden

I find something extremely unsettling about people who compliment people by not saying anything. 

What do I mean you ask? 

"when I don't say anything that's a good thing. " But then can be the most vocal about everything negative. You can't put people down all the time and expect them to go out of their way for you. You have to have more to say to people than what they do wrong. 

You must have some kind of internal struggle if you can't compliment someone. Oh but you expect all the praise. Wait for the fall. 

Seriously lady??????

"Do I still have a credit? Like 5 or 10 dollars?" 

In my head: really? No trick! I took that for a tip. Since you never leave one. I took it upon myself to add it on as appreciation for always gettin the crap off your crusty dusty feet. 

In real life: "yes you do"

I'm such a punk!!! -_-

Rare breed..... Apparently

Apparently I'm a rare breed. The things that are common sense and thoughtful and considerate are unique to only me. 

There's no way I would go out if town with someone. They have done all the driving and complained about their back hurting and then make them sleep on the couch. 

That's some major bs. 

You go hop your happy complaining tail in the bed and spread out leaving the little cardboard sleeper sofa to the person that has done most of the work and trip preparation? That's some bogish ish 

Who turned this on?

My feelings are way too apparent at the moment.  Wayyyyyyyy  I can't turn them off.  They're haunting me and it's working my nerves.  If this is what being an unmedicated woman is like then fuck it.  I'll just gain 100 lbs.

No I wont.  Huhhhhhhh

Yes, I'm OUTRAGED!

I have apparently been keeping my outrage to myself.

I would like to say...if I tell you, "I just can't get into Pinterest", that does not mean that:

• I don't have a Pinterest account so you should invite me to sign up

-OR-

• I don't know how the site functions so I need your retarded ass to give me a dissertation

The shit just doesn't appeal to me. Okay? I don't want it. Like I don't want Instagram or whatever other social site. I don't need your remedial course on the functionality of it and why you love it.

So just stfu already.

Jeluz H8R

I was the biggest hater of all haters today. I cant believe I missed the Beyonce concert! 

Wtf!!!! It's not like when I act like I don't want to go to something and then get mad when everyone is there. No! I tried and tried and tried! But I don't understand how people got tickets when they went on sale at 10am and at 10:00:01 they were sold out!!!! How the flim flam did you get tickets?!?! 

So I had major hate attacks today. Oh frickin well! 

The good thing is..... I'm coming down some. Probably because its over and there's nothing I can do about it now. 

That's what I get for being so caring. If I was one of those screw you and your sick dog type of people I may have seen Mrs.Carter tonight. 

Harrumph 

Pity Party

I'm currently having a giant one.  Woe is my life and my lack of disposable income.  Woe woe woe. 

Except I know I'm being ridiculous.  I've got it pretty good overall.

But I'm having a pity party all the same.

I'm tired of not having play money.
Of not being able to go on vacation.
Of having to think before I spend.
Of driving this car with this big dumb ass note with the non functional a/c.
Of my belly being all over everywhere
Of my boobs looking sad
Of getting dizzy
Of my arms feeling weird
Of only having one eyebrow
Of having to deal with that one dumb ass heifer at work
Did I mention the car a/c

All my fault

Even though my schedule has been the same for months  now, somehow it's going to be my fault you didn't get your nails for the event. 

Like you didn't know it was tomorrow. Like you didn't know you wanted your nails done. Like you didn't know I have a schedule. 

Just because I work at Home doesn't mean I'm gonna take you whenever. I have business hours. But because they weren't convenient for you, I'm going to be the one to blame.

Go kick rocks! 

Morning after

So it's the morning after the verdict in the Case against George Zimmerman. And I feel some kind of indescribable way. Some mix of emotions. 

I think it's interesting when I read people say they aren't surprised. And I think that saddens me. Why? Are we not surprised because it was a non black who killed a black boy? Or because the evidence the prosecution presented was insufficient? Or because the defense did their job and poked holes in the prosecutions case? I don't really know. 

If I'm perfectly honest. The defense was dope in his closing argument. He made sure the jurors had enough questions in their mind that they had no choice but to come back with a not guilty verdict. But I'm not sure that's the reason for other people's lack of surprise at the verdict. Which says a lot about the world we live in. 

Would it have gone that way if I were there? Nope! Because I would have said screw what you're talking about. I have my own mind made up given my extensive knowledge gained from CSI. 

Nope I'm not going. 

I keep seeing people saying don't just post on social networks but be the change we need. 

I really need someone to explain that to me. What exactly do these people expect us to do? Overthrow the government? Become vigilantes? Reinvent the black panthers? What should we do? As a matter of fact..... What are they doing? Plus isn't that what that little box is for on fb? For people to say what's on their mind. *shoulder shrug* 

As a woman who has experienced the loss of children without meeting them all I can do is pray for the parents of Trayvon Martin. Pray for their peace. Pray against, just, anger. Pray that their memories of their son will comfort them. Pray that the images of his lifeless body will disappear from their memory. Pray that this wakes young people up and helps them realize they aren't invincible and that life is not promised. So they will appreciate it and try to make better decisions. Pray that some kind of enlightenment comes out of this tragedy so that this baby's death is not in vain. God bless his family and friends. 

@&$")?"&!$&

Why can't I just curse everybody out???They feel like they can say whatever the fluck they want to say to me why can't I return the favor? I'm so tired of people and their dumb ish. 

Just STFU!!!!! 

"I" world!

I've come to the realization that this is an "I" world. I'm the only one that matters. My opinion is the only one that counts. I want what I want when I want it. I want you to be available when I need you. I want a discount, although I love discounts. I! I! I! Motherflubbin I!!!! 

Well guess what EYE,cause you can't get the capitalizing effect with the letter, don't give two flyin nuts about you!!! 

So don't call/text me at 5,6,7 am or 10,11,12 pm( am on 12. You get my drift)

Don't get mad at me cause all 7 times I told you I was available " don't work for you" and then say EYE'M never available. 

Don't get mad at me cause your nap was more important, which I can understand but not when it comes to my money, and you missed your appointment but you don want me to charge you a cancellation fee. 

Don't talk ish about me when you text me on a holiday and I'm not working or I am but I can't take you. I want to enjoy my holiday just like you. 

The list goes on! 

The moral of the story is......... Think about someone other than yourself!!! 

You Don't Have...?

I absolutely detest negative questions. 

"You're not going to..."
"You don't have..."

That's not a question.  That's a judgement.   If you want to ask a question, ask the fucking question.  But to ask a negative question insinuates something.   That something someone else is doing is wrong. 

Well here's the thing.

You don't live here.  You pay 0 of our bills.  You contribute nothing to the household and from the sound of things you don't own your own anything.  So before you come in here talking about what "we don't..." how about you handle your own shit.   And then, when you have YOUR own things, then come back so I can tell you to kiss my ass.

Dear customers,

Don't brag about all of the free things you've gotten by being an asshole. Please understand we are not that company.

We won't give you shit and will have a dandy damn time not giving you shit. 

Be reasonable, reasonable will get you helped all day. Fuckery will get you fuckery in return

Why?

Why do these girls think that this extra colorful lip gloss is hot?!?! 

It's not! You look stupid! Or dead! 

Turquoise and purple and yellow were not meant to be worn on your lips as an everyday thing! Gtf over it. 

Night Night

Morning - please stop coming so dang early. Wait a few hours. What's the rush? 

Please Don't

Please don't call me and talk slow. 

I already don't like phone calls, but calls with a purpose are fine. 

Please don't call me and slow talk.


How arrrrreeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuu?

Fine.

I'm fine. 

Welllllllllllll IIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiii

*blank stare*

Please only call me if you can talk regular speed.  Regular speed is fine. 

Well, regular speed is acceptable if for some reason we can't text.

Semi-Outrage

Please stop chronicling your medical issues on Facebook.

Really. I don't need to know that you're on another antibiotic.

There's nothing wrong with asking for prayers or something if you're going through illness or have an injury. I get it.

But an update after every medical appointment really isn't necessary. Really.

You want me to pay what?

I've had the damnedest time finding swim lessons for the kid.  Apparently, out here in the boonies mothers are expected to not have jobs because Saturday classes are few and far between. 

I thought I found lessons at the Y.  $70 lessons because I'm not a member.  But. 

I was wrong.  Apparently there's a $50 fee to be able to pay the $70 fee.  $120 for a swim class for a toddler.  Tod.  Ler. 

I guess it's time to come up with plan D cause... ummmm.... yeah...

That ain't happening. 

Dear 18 month sleep regression

I hate you. I want to punch you in the face. 

This baby who is so exhausted she nearly fell asleep while getting changed she doesn't need your kind. 

Go away sleep regression. Your kind is not welcome here. 

Shhhhhh

I think the way your brain works is stupid. 

I think the things that are important to you are dumb.

I think it's better if you don't talk.

Never talk.

Never say anything

Don't even think.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Don't Ask Me

I have a low tolerance for faux helplessness. 

Puppies are helpless.
Babies...helpless.
Tiny baby chicks, totally helpless.

But you.  Your big grown ass.  You're not helpless. 

It's one thing to say, hey I need assistance here's my dilemma.  That's okay. 

But woah is me... I never had any chance.... ooohhhhh who will save me.

Save your damn self.  Don't ask me until you've tried. 

Do it yourself

It's awesome that you're off next week. I hope you have an awesome vacation. 

Here's the thing. You being off isn't my issue. 

You want 85 things done between today and tomorrow? Do it yourself.  

It's really universal

I don't have any outrage today...just want to reiterate that STFU is really universal and applies to all facets of life.

The world - the entire WORLD - would be better off if people learned to just stfu.

Seriously?!?!?

Did I really just get a text an a phone call about appointments?!?! 

Wtfrick makes you think it's ok to call me at 10:30PM to ask me about your nails? 

And why would you text me to ask me if there are any more appointments left besides what's on the site? 

THAT'S THE POINT OF ONLINE BOOKING........ DON'T CALL ME!!! 

ESPECIALLY THIS LATE!!! 

LEAVE ME ALONE!! 

What Is So Hard About STFU?

Why is shutting the fuck up so difficult? 

I should never watch daytime tv ever.  For any reason. People on daytime tv stress me out.  They make me tired.  Gives me heartburn. 

On court tv shows it seems like 85.9% of people that get their cases thrown out have it happen because they can't stfu.  Oh, you're just about to rule in my favor?  Let me say something that blows my whole case.  Because stfu is hard.

Oh, my opponent is making themselves look an ass?  I know.  I'll keep talking over them and annoying everyone.  I can't stfu, I might explode. 

You actually bought my story of bullshit, but I'm too dumb to keep my lie straight?  Let me keep talking and digging a hole for myself.  I like holes, you know what I don't like?  STFU.

Please stfu people.  Save yourselves

Decisions decisions

What's a chick to do? 

You played with my money......death to you. Well not death cause I don't want anybody to die but you get my point. 

So now comes the hard part. Do I play your game with you and not go back and not call, since clearly your policy is just do it, or do I do the mature thing go in and tell you how I feel to your little shiftless manipulative funny look face? 

Hmmmmm? 

Racist Butter

Paula Deen has said the n word.  And once she thought it would be a good idea to have a "back in the day plantation party" where they'd hire all black wait staff. 

Word got out thanks to depositions in a discrimination suit and pandemoneum ensued.  People are offended!  People are shunning butter!  People are never going to watch/read/eat anything slightly related to Paula Deen. 

I can say I've never watched Paula Deen's show.  I think I may have made one of her recipes from an internet search, but I can't tell you what that recipe was for.  I've never bought her cookbooks.  And I can honestly say I gave 0 fucks about her before.

And I give 0 fucks about her now. 

Let's be honest.  Everyone has said the n word.  Everyone in America.  With the exception of small children that don't know of its existence.  Every one else. Ev. .   Er. Ree. One.  And everyone has racial "issues".  Yes we like to pretend like oh no one sees anything but your beautiful souls.  But we're lying to ourselves.  Also - everyone's soul isn't beautiful. 

People are sad because Queen of LovinButter acts like an old southern lady. 

She's an old southern lady who acted like a old southern lady.  That's like getting mad when a tiger eats someone.  It's a tiger.  She's an old southern lady.

Meh.

You do the math

1100/2+75+10 does NOT = 524.50 

So why is that all I got? 

You got sum splanin to do Lucy! 

Really??????

Looks nice and innocent now. Imagine a mini geyser!!! And at 1a.m.!!!! 

Hello.......

WTF do you want? Don't you understand I'm working? Or on the toilet. Or asleep. Or doin it( in my dreams) . In other words.... I'm busy!!!! I dont eat sleep and breathe my phone. 

Don't send me a friggin text and when I don't answer in your acceptable amount of time you send me another text that says 

Hello......

No Goodbye!!! 

Dear coworker.

I don't like you. I don't even have a good reason. 

Well. Actually, you look like you funk up the bathroom. Maybe you don't. But you look like the type. 

Spray some spray. Please spray some spray. 

Grrrrrrr

If I see "sleeveless blazer" one more time my head is going to explode. Bitch, it's a vest. You made a VEST. Okay? Sheesh

Stop Buying Shit

You have no money? 

Paying bills making you sad? 

I've got a little something to tell you. 

You'd have more money if you'd stop buying shit. You don't need the stuff, your life isn't going to change. So just stop. 

Or....stfu. Either way works. 

I'm sorry to inform you but...

My kids didn't land in my lap as teens. Haven't I said this before?

Yeah, I didn't happen upon nearly grown kids.

I was pregnant.
I had infants.
I had toddlers.
I had adolescent children.
I've experienced sleepless nights. First steps. Exploding growth spurts.
I've experienced first teeth coming in and first teeth falling out.
I've experienced first day of Kindergarten.
I've gone to every gotdamn tourist site you could imagine on field trips.

So uhmm...yes. I DO get it. Because I wasn't handed two teenage children...I err, RAISED them.

Personal Responsibility

There all kinds of theories on what is 'wrong' with America, on why things seem to be worse socially than they were before.  I'm not sure that things are worse than they were before, or even when 'before' was.  But here's my theory.  The problem is a lack of personal responsibility. 

What is personal responsibility?  It is taking responsibility for yourself, for every choice you make, for every situation you find yourself in.  99.9% of the time you're not a victim of circumstance, or a "hater" or any other foolishness.  You're a victim of your own life choices, take ownership over your situation.  Unless you're being held captive, no forced you to do anything. 

This is not to say that people aren't ever impacted the choices of others, but the vast majority of the time people set themselves up.  So here is a list of things that are probably your fault:

• Your weight
• Your finances
• Your job
• Your friends
• What time you arrive to wherever you're going 
• The people in you inner circle 
• How people treat you

If "everybody" is always doing something to you, then you should look at what's in common, you're the thing in common.  Take ownership of yourself.  

Get over it!

So am I mistaken aren't people allowed to have their own opinions? 

Isn't that allowed because......it's AMERICA?!?!?! 

Well that's what I thought. 

So why is it when people don't agree with how you feel then you are the scum of the Earth? Or if you do something they don't agree with then you are dumb as a box of rocks and deserve a whole day of fb statuses dedicated to how dumb you are for believing what you believe. 

Everyone is allowed their own ish. 

If you agree with homosexuality and another doesn't......... Guess what that doesn't make them dumb it makes them human and this AMERICA! 

But it does make you just as hypocritical as you call them when you tell him how unethical they are for not believing in what they don't believe in. 

If someone chooses to celebrate their mother on Father's Day........guess what that is their right and their choice. If you don't like it don't do it and don't acknowledge it. But don't dedicate a whole day of fb statuses to how women should have made better decisions and they chose him and a woman can't raise a man and blah blah blah blah blah!!!!! 

Celebrate who and how you choose because........ It's AMERICA!!!! 

And if you feel that women can't/shouldn't be celebrated on Fathers Fay then celebrate your dad or whatever man/men in your life that deserve it and enjoy the day!!! 

Can't we all just get along?!?! 

Double Standard

It kills me how quickly people say "sexual immorality" when it comes to homosexuals. Yet no one has anything to say about all of the heterosexual immorality. Let us review. You're not supposed to 

Lust 

Touch yourself 

Have any kind of sex with someone that's not your spouse. 

No sex unless you're married. And if you are married, only with that one person. While thinking about that one person. 

People have all kinds of non married heterosexual sex and no one says shit. 

One night stand? Who cares? 

Gave your boss a bj? So what 

Sleeping with the married dude across the way? No biggie 

Shacking with and sleeping with someone you're not married to? Yawn 

You can't have it both ways. If it is immoral one way, it's immoral all ways. 

So please stfu 

Huhhhhhhhhhhh

them: i want an appointment. How much do you charge for new fingers and new toes?

Me: hi how are you. That would be a mere 75$

Them: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS!!!!!

Did your prices go up? 

Me: Not since the last time you got new fingers and new toes. 

Them: that's not in my budget. I'm on a serious budget 

Me: I understand. 

(Just for kicks) what is your budget 

Them: 45$ 

(What I heard) $16.49 

Translation: I'm going to the "chinks". 

*Insert blank stare here* 

I ate 9 mini kit-kats but apparently, that isn't enough

People are stupid. Just down right stupid.

Ok, so if you know me, you know I'm a full fledged Liberal Socialist Extremist (shut up YOU! lol!) on anything fiscal. No one in this country should be homeless or hungry. There's just too much greed and waste. And yes, we all know somebody(s) who is trifling and gets government assistance of some sort and blah, blah, BLAH.

But, you sound like a dumb ass fool when you try to rant about how you wish you had some food stamps to shop at SAMS CLUB (what, is that fancy?). Uhmm, yeah dumbass. You want the rest of the lifestyle that comes along with being on welfare? Yeah, I thought not.

STFU!

Dear Editor

You've looked at my article 12 times. 12! 

You requested a change, I  did it. 

Then you poked around a bit. 

And nothing. 

12 times. 

Approve my shit.  Thanks. 

:-/

Yeah, sure...it's trivial...but I don't care.

You're not married, that's not your "hubby". Go get a fucking marriage license and be married. Mmhmm 'kay pumpkin?

You Nasty

Why the hell do you call people while on the toilet at work? 

Hello ? 

 *fart* 

What are you *flush* doing? 

I was gonna *flush fart fart flush* call you later. 

*peeing noise* 

I don't know why he told you that 

*cough fart flushing* 

*turd hitting water* 

  

--------

Why? Why is this okay? People want to use the bathroom in peace.  Do you hate the person you're talking to that much that you subject them to hear other folks fart? 

How about you wait two minutes then call? 

You nasty 

STFU When You Talk To Me!

(c) Kanye, "Cold", Cruel Summer

STFU about how relaxers are 'bad' and natural hair is 'good'
Yet you'd still put damaging ass chemicals that color your hair. Errr. Research THAT.

STFU about how you've been relaxer free so why can't everyone else be
Maybe, dumbass, they have different hair, lifestyle, budget, etc, etc, etc or just don't to fucking be natural (anymore)?

STFU about how "Free" you are as a natural
I don't give a shit if my hair gets wet - I can blow dry the shit and flat iron it again. Some naturals are not going to let a fucking rain drop touch their head.

Better yet...just STFU!

People are dumb

Why do you think your opinion is the only one? Or should I say the only right one. 

Because someone doesn't agree with your viewpoint or simply has one of their own is no reason to negate what the other person says, thinks or feels. 

Oh my bad I forgot you were the life guru and only what happens in your brain is what's right. 

Give me a break. Get off your effin soapbox. 

I thought it was me

He has a "gerber baby butt"

I thought I had THE flattest butt in the world........NOPE 

Lemme lone!!!!

Leave my stuff alone. You knew I wasn't going to be around all the time from the jump. So that means its not a surprise. 

It doesn't mean go and pile all my stuff up in one spot when I'm not around. Leave my ish alone!!! I don't touch yours....don't touch mine! 

So then the answer is no I'm not joking when I say you are getting on my nerves. Cause you are!! You suck!!! 

Reality

Reality tv is a mindless, useless and ghetto waste of time............. DUH!!! 

Selfish

Selfishness is also a real disease!!!! 

Let me try it to see how it feels......

I DON'T GIVE A FLYIN FIG ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE GOING ON!!! 

YOU AND YOUR LIFE CAN KICK RICKS WITH NO SHOES ON AND AN INFECTED CUTICLE FROM THE ASIANS!!!!! 

OCS

Only Child Syndrome is real! Even if I did just make it up. 

And I have it! So what that I spent part of my life as a not only child, the majority wasn't and it has challenged my development! 

Oh well get over it!!! 

Lessons

Lessons are stupid. Especially ones that you learn over and over again because you don't believe the sky is blue. 

Even though sometimes it's kinda grey. 

Those grey skies suck at times but are necessary for growth. But growth is stupid. Why can't stuff just stay the same..... Be what it seems? 

Growth is a necessary evil but it can be dumb! 

Answer The Question

There are some questions in life that are hard to answer, like what is the square root of 56,242,204 and how do you say 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.  Chances are, people aren't asking you those questions on a daily basis.  I can totally understand making up or giving a different answer to those questions. 

What I don't understand is being elusive for no apparent reason.

"How many books did you check out from the library?"
  - "orange"

"Huh? How many books did you check out from the library?"
 - "octopus ovary oligopoly"

"So... how many books?"
 - "elephant debonaire barnacles" 

"F It"

So people give up talking to you, because you never answer the question.  But then something weird happens.

"You look mad"
 - "I am mad.  So mad.  Madder than the maddest mad mad"

"Why"
 - "I asked you to bring me the books I took out from the library, but you only brought 3 and I took out 4.  I told you I took out 4."

"No you didn't, you said 'orange, octopus ovary oligopoly, elephant debonaire barnacles"
 - "Right, I said 4"


Seriously?  How about you answer the fucking question in the first fucking place.  It's less stress for everyone. 

I don't give no shits bout yo feelings

Whyyyyy do adult people have sooooo many feelings that they want YOU to manage and be responsible for?! No thank you!

I don't want to be responsible for your feelings. Fuck your feelings; all 117 of them.

I swear to goodness the highway runs both ways...

Ugh Monday

The weekend is the most awesome time of the week by far. 

And then it's over and Monday is back.  It rears its ugly head and we have to do dumb things like go back to work and be responsible citizens.

Unfortunately, Monday encroaches on Sunday.  It's 8:13 Sunday evening and Monday is less than four hours away.  I'm already aggrevated. 

Go away Monday.  You suck and your Momma and no one likes you and kiss my ass.  All of those things.  Fucker.

STFU: A one size fits all approach

Etsy shop owner: Wah, wah, wah. People are stupid.

((Well, yeah, they are but...))

ESO: wah, wah, wah people are complaining because I have a 72 day make time on my custom tutu outfits

People With Helpful Suggestions: I would never think I needed to order a tutu 2 months out.


((WTF?! You do know that 72 days is like...2.5 months...10 weeks...and it's a tutu!?!? Okay plus shirt and headband...but WTF? ))

ESO: My outfits are highly customized.

PWHS: Maybe it's time for you to hire help

ESO: wah, wah, wah! I'm not hiring help!

PWHS: Well, if it takes 8 weeks to get an order out...maybe you should...Or raise your prices...

ESO: wah, wah, wah! I live 30 miles from civilization and no one will drive all the way here.

PWHS: 30 miles really isn't that far and someone looking for part time work might. Or maybe you should periodically stop taking orders so your make time is faster.

ESO: wah, wah, wah!!! That won't work!

PWHS: It worked for me.

ESO: ................

((WTF))


STFU!

Don't be a douche

I hate Facebook...it allows for so many to be d-bags. Don't be a d-bag...

Don't fake preach.
Don't be a fake thug.
Don't start fake internet drama.

And the real reason I was prompted to write...stfu (YES!) about high school vs. now. Everyday I see some lame ass post about how "if I didn't talk to you in high school, why would I talk to you now". Cause dumbass, you're like 37 now and high school was 2 decades ago.

There are people I was like, melded to in high school, and now we have zero, zilch, nada in common. Nothing. There are people that I didn't like - when I was fucking 14 - that I've found we have tons in common now as ADULTS. There are people who seemed like perfectly rational human beings at 16 that are straight up nut jobs now.

I really think I'm like one of the few people in the universe that doesn't define myself by high school. I don't give a shit about high school, it was over 15 years ago. And I don't want to go back there either. That's a dumb ass idea...just dumb.

So, don't be a douche. Just STFU and stop posting about how you haven't changed since you were 17...

So DRAMATIC!!!

Life is hard.  We all have large issues to deal with, mountains of debt, sick relatives, families being far apart, life decisions,  that kind of thing. 

That being said, there are a lot of things that are not large, things are small - petty even.  Yet people get all worked up about those things like it is the end of the world.   THE WORLD IS NOT FUCKING ENDING RIGHT NOW ASSHOLE! 

The fact that you were slightly inconvenience for a few minutes doesn't mean that the world should stop turning and mourn for your privileged time.  Things happen, no big deal.  Move on.  Everything that does not go in your favorite does not require a temper tantrum.  You'll be alright.  Put your big girl panties on and keep it moving. 

My Title is Not Personal Assistant

I love you. And I love that I can help you in the ways that I can...and hate that I can't help you in the ways that I'd like to.

But I'm not your assistant! I'm sorry. I can't be responsible for getting birthday gifts for this person and that person and dropping them off. I can't be your representative at function A and B. I have a whole lotta shit going on, man! I don't want to do half of my own shit.

Look Away!

It amuses me whenever someone gets all up in arms about what someone else chooses to portray on television. 

You don't like Madea, don't watch. 

You think the Real Housewives are a waste of time, don't watch. 

You think the Kardashians are sucking the knowledge from your brain? Don't watch. 

It's really that simple. To get all up in arms is a huge waste of energy. Yes, television portrays stereotypes.  This doesn't make them true about you. If you don't want to be a stereotype, then don't be. It's that simple. 

Not Buying It

Attn Little Person. 

Your fake cry is not convincing. You need more tears. 

Keep It On Your Body

I know that as we age things change. We can't do things the same way we used to. Things just are different. In fact, things can change from season to season. I UNDERSTAND even though I'm not exactly understanding. 

You see dog, I'm tired of your hair bring everywhere all of the time. I know you can't help it, you're getting RIF of your winter cost and your kind sheds the most possible hair for no reason. 

But, your hair is staring to make me stabby. I don't have time to vacuum every 23 minutes. So please keep your hair on your damn body. 

Please and thank you 

Vincent VanNough

I will be the first to admit....... I'm no artist. I do have SOME creativity in me though. But when you think you're the technician and tell me what to do and how to do it .....you stifle said little creativity I do have. 

How do you know you don't like it if I'm not done with it? 

The colors just weren't meshing? Are you serious? I wasn't done. Guess what the yellow I was going to put in it would have calmed down all the colors!!!

They just stood out too much. Took the attention off the main event.

Guess what........ That's what an ACCENT does. It stands out!!! It's not an accent nail when it looks like the rest of them! 

It's just too different.

Well you picked the colors. I just put them together. Seriously???? 

You've been in my chair for 4 hours go the flem flam home! 

Google that trick!!! 

Breathing Is Important

Dear Coworker, 

I get it. You don't like to call off, I don't either.  Which is why I almost never do. Even if I don't feel well I'm going to be right here. 

There's a difference between not feeling well and "about to die."  It sounds as if your ailment is of the latter. You've coughed non stop for the past ten minutes. I'm pretty sure that thump I just heard was one of your lungs quitting your body. 

Please go home. My baby just got over a chronic cough and if I get sick and pass it on, I'm going to kick you in the ear. 

The Audacity of Me

I'm sorry I took a lunch break. And am coming in from said lunch break as you are leaving on YOUR lunch break...where you say "I've been looking for you".

IDGAF.

I'm sorry that I would dare leave out for lunch during a time when you were still there and might need to ask me a question.

I always get some offended ass look when I leave out for lunch at 12:30...1:00, etc. I don't want to take lunch at 11 because you're taking lunch at 11 and you might need to ask me a question at 1:12. What if I need to ask you a question at 11:03 but you're gone to lunch? The world continues to spin doesn't it? Doesn't it?!?!?

I am a saver!!!

My boobs save stuff all the time!!! 

Chips, bread, chicken crumbs and sometimes even drinks! 

Lololololololololol! 

Because I'm special

Why do people think they are the exception to the rules?

You're exempt from consequences because You're light skinned? Because you have a vowel in your name? Because you breathe? 

Please explain so I can be on your page. Because where I'm from over sleeping is not a reason to not have to pay a cancellation fee. IMO 

Google It Bitch!

Google has all of the answers. All of them. If you try to Google and you come up with nothing, then it doesn't exist, or you're a dumbass. 

I completely understand why some questions are  necessary: 

- anyone have a great asparagus recipe? 

    Valid question 

- how do I cook asparagus? 

     Google it Bitch. 

- anyone have tips for having fun at Disney? 

   Valid question 

- what time does Epcot open? 

    Google It Bitch 

- has anyone been to Blue Fish for dinner? What did you think? 

    Valid question 

- What's the address for Blue Fish? 

      Google It Bitch. 

I want to tell people to Google It approximately 1,300 times a day. While karate chopping them in the throat. Yay for impulse control. 

Whatever I Want

I want to be able to do whatever I want. Some people do. They aren't productive in life, they just do whatever they want. 

Go to school? Nah

Get a job? No thanks 

Take a shower? No way 

Raise their kids? Pfffttt

Contribute to society? No thanks. 

But then something changes. People get tired of them mooching, they cut cut off. And suddenly Whatever They Want isn't do comfortable. 

"No one will help me" 

Nope. You couldn't be bothered to help yourself.  Now we're doing whatever we want. 

Women...Sheesh

Every friggin time we get right to the part where we're ready to close the deal...out comes the "I have to talk to my wife." And every time they go talk to their wife, some bullshit starts.

Hating ass wives.

The men are all,
"Do you have a job?"
"Do you have a pulse?"
"You're not going to be calling me for shit every two seconds are you?"
"Let's go!"

Then the wives.

"Well we have to get other applications."

The fuck for?!? You list your fucking house for rent. You have a family come by that likes it and you like them and they can afford to pay their rent every month...what's the damn problem? What, are you going to miss out on the magic tenant?

"We have to do a credit and criminal background."

You need to know that we can afford your damn rent. That's what you need to know. That we have jobs and can pay rent on time. And that previous landlords don't think we're squatting assholes. That's it.

Fuck you lady.

Things that make you go BI!?$

How you gon miss or cancel your appointment with me and then when I charge you a cancellation fee you go to someone else? 

Then post on fb how you are getting your nails and feet done. 

It shouldn't bother me but it annoys the ish outta me. 

Registration Fees

My 18 month old goes to a daycare center.  It is a great place, the facility is awesome, the teachers are great and I know that she is well care for.  But.  There's something I don't understand. 

When we signed up, we paid a registration fee.  That made sense to me, I guess.  There was paperwork to be processed, etc.  I get it as a one time expense.  But it's not a one time expense.  It's yearly! 

YEAR. LY. 

Why the hell do I have to pay a new fee every year?  Supposedly it's to "hold their spot" or some crap.  Isn't that what tuition does?  It's not as if we can not go next week, pay no tuition, then show back up the week after because "well we paid the registration fee". 

Maybe other folks have extra money.  In fact, I'm sure other folks have extra money.  I'm sure some people don't scoff at this high-ass fee.  I'm not one of those people.  I am broke.  Extra broke.   Broker than broke.  Br.. cause I can't afford the oke. 

If you need the extra money, build that shit into tuition and spread it out over the year.  Anything else is just stupid.  And annoying. And sad inducing because I'd like to have a wee bit of money in my pocket. 

Nail Tips

Don't let 30 minutes into your appointment come up and you haven't arrived or called. If you're t work and your boss is keepin you sneak to the bathroom and send me a text. 

Please!!!! Please!!! Don't touch your nails after I have cleansed and prepped your nails for product. 

As a matter of fact think of your hands as mine while you're here. 

Always ask for soap!!! Why do people go to the bathroom, and I know there's no soap or very little, and you come out and haven't asked for any? 

Now you need this whole bottle of cool blue, hand sanitizer, and I'm putting on gloves. 

Nasty mofos! 

Alway tip!!! It's the crustiest feet people or the most difficult that don't too. Seriously? You loser!!! 

But...... Why do people tip? I mean I am paying you for the service. Who came up with that? 

I do it I just wanna know where it originated. 

Really???

So apparently I went to school to be a miracle worker. The problem is I must have been absent during those courses cause I don't know how to do that. 

I can't make your crusty fee smooth when you're 809 pounds and walk barefoot. 

Or your 73 pounds but don't moisturize and walk around barefoot. 

Or you're somewhere in between and you drink 2 ounces of water in between visits. 

WTF am I supposed to do with that? 

Why do you think you can be 30 minutes late and expect to get the full service. You're messin with my money!!! 

WTF makes you think it's ok to go to jury duty for the day and then tell me how tired you are and that's why you can't make your 80$ appointment? 

WhyTF am I sitting here looking for duck shit for a baby shower? That shits stupid as hell!!!! WTF is a duck?!?!!! 

Just STFU and leave me alone

That's like, my life mantra. I would prefer if you never talked to me, but if you must...

*Do not whine about shit to me. Especially if you're whining about the same thing eleventy times in a row. STFU and leave me alone.

*I do not care what you did last weekend or what you're doing this weekend. And I don't want to talk to you about my weekend. STFU and leave me alone.

*I don't care why you let your bad ass kid do whatever random, ignorant shit they're doing. STFU and leave me alone.

*You should never utter the words "turn up" or "turnt up" or anything of the sort, and that goes triple if you're over the age of 30. If you're 40 talking about you're going to "turn up" this weekend, STFU and leave me alone.

**This list may be added to at will...

We Have Responsibilities

Someone said they didn't understand why people would work jobs they didn't like. 

Really?!?!? 

Do you live in your mom's basement while she pays all the bills?  

Real people with REAL lives have responsibility. They work jobs they don't like to keep the lights on and food on the table. Sure it would be great to play Candy Crush all day, but that isn't going to do a thing for my grocery bill. 

GROW UP AND GET A LIFE! 

We're Outraged!

A blog about the random stuff that makes us upset, but we can't (or aren't supposed to) talk about.  We are anyway!